Introducing Me and Myself

Who am I

In the intrest of full disclosure and to try to answer individual curiosity, I have decided to give an interview to Myself and provide the transcript here.
As you will see, in questioning Myself I tried to remain as fair and balanced as possible.However; after taking Myself into the spin zone, I walked away from me with the distinct feeling I had been spun.
Here is the transcript in full of my conversation with myself.


Me: Ok..Let's start this off by..
Self: I'm ready when you are.
Me: (polite pause) Yes, ok, let's begin with your name, rank, and cereal number...?
Self: Umm...
Me: Can I quote you on that?
Self: Uh...Ok..My name is Christy and I am a mommy...I don't..um..
Me: Cereal Number?
Self: ...Umm ...Two Fruit Loops and a box of Corn flakes ?
Me: Works for me...Ok. So how many kids do you have?
Self: Five, one son 4 daughters.
Me: Wow.
Self: Yeah ..thats what I said.
Me: So why DID you start this blog thing?
Self: Well I got drunk one night and thought , hmm that looks fun. It turned out well though because now I have a place to post news items people may have missed.
Me: Umm Dont they have newspapers for that?
Self: Yes and No.
Me: What do you mean?
Self: I mean newspapers are a place that news is SUPPOSED to be reported; but in these scary times reporters are either ignoring the news or worse, flat out distorting it...
Me: Isn't that dangerous?
Self: Yes, very dangerous.
Me: So what is it news papers are NOT saying?
Self: For one, the words war criminal and war profiteering....They are..
Me: War profiteering?
Self: Yes, as in profiting from war...They are not using the word 'Treason' either...
Me: Treason?
Self: Yes.
Me: Are you crazy?
Self: If I am I'm not alone.
Me: Well..Umm..ok..(inaudible)... Then WHY treason?
Self: Starting with 9/11...Did YOU know the insurance on the WTC was increased by 300% less than 90 days before they were destroyed?
Me: No, I did not know that...
Self: Not many do.
Me: But..I thought it was bin Laden who attacked us?
Self: It was bin Laden..But HE did not buy insurance on the WTC...When we find him ..you can ask him about it.
Me: So who committed treason then....?
Self: We will ask him that too.
Me: Lets move on to Iraq.
Self: Don't get me started...
Me: Started on..?
Self: Iraq serves many peoples intrests but not 'The Peoples' intrest. Our soldiers are digging through garbage to up armor thier vehicles while Bush and his supporters throw a 40 million dollar party. Our soldiers are ordered to kill innocent people for what we KNOW are lies. This is the worst situation imaginable for our troops. They are not fighting Vietnamese rice farmers for sure. Since there are no front lines women are literally on the battlefield. Our soldiers are being used as human shields for Halliburton employees.
Bush cannot secure the people of Iraq but the new US bases on thier pipelines are going up pretty well. He can order the city of Fallujah, The City of Churchs,.. destroyed, but he cannot seem to build a single thing that would better the lives of those he's claiming to have freed.
Me: Um..Won't the US bases being built there 'secure' the situation?
Self: Oh yeah they tried that once in a place called Korea once...That hasn't worked out very well for anyone... And if...
Me: But won't the oil be used for...?
Self: For what?!....I don't see us getting rich off Iraqi oil. I don't see Iraqis getting rich off of it either! The truth is both the Bush and bin Laden family fortunes are based on oil and defense contracts. Its convienant that a war is raging over the second largest oil reserve on earth. Both of these families have gotten FILTHY rich.
Me: Are you saying the Bush/ bin Laden family fortunes are related?
Self: Ofcourse they are related, Closer than anyone should be comfortable with. It's true that bin Laden family money is how our current President was set up in bunk oil companies thirty something years ago.
Me: Your Joking?
Self: Would I lie to you?...A man named James Bathh was the Texas money manager for the bin Laden family. He invested in Bush..After all they had failed a piss test together.
Me: Ok... But why would Saudis (of all people) invest in junk oil companies in Texas?
Self: That is a very good question. Perhaps we should ask Mr. Bathh... Osama is very likely to know the answer and without a doubt Bush knows why. So does his daddy.
Me: Hmm Ok...Let's go back to you...
Self: Do we have too...?
Me: Yes.
Self: Why?
Me: Because I say so...ok What are your goals in life?
Self: A degree in anthropology and the Presidency of the United States...Oh and I need a nanny.
Me: Your saying your going to be President one day?
Self: Yes..I didn't tell you?
Me: Ummm..No. I must have missed that part...(inaudible)...But won't your past as a stripper and your anger management issues be used against you?
Self: Yes, probably the nanny too.
Me: So..then..um how..?
Self: I'll use the current administrations' example... All we have to do is say if you question my motives you are unpatriotic.
Me: Isn't that horribly unfair and wrong?
Self: Why, yes, it is,.. isn't it?
Me: Um ok anthropology as in that Darwin stuff?
Self: Yes, actually, evolution is my intrest.
Me: Didn't you know that's un-christian?
Self: No. I did not know that.
Me: Umm ok, nevermind,...(inaudible)...to ask your political leanings?
Self: Well,I was actually raised a conservative republican. But I now consider myself a moderate democrat. I'm proud to be a liberal.
Me: WHAT?!!! A liberal?!! WHY?...?
Self: Maybe it was that Mexican experience, could be Clintons fault... Or it could be I've just known too many republicans...
Me: Don't liberals have coodies?
Self: Don't be an ass. Jesus was a liberal. So was Ghandi.
Me: UMM ..Moving on.
Self: Yes?
Me: Is it true yall practice voodoo in Louisiana?
Self: Does voodo mean drunken naked tree hugging?
Me: Yes.
Self: Umm..Well, then...yes.
Me: Ok, since you are totally beginning to bore me...
Self: (inaudible) you too.
Me: (continues)...ask you just just one more question before we go?
Self: Hmmm?
Me: Did mom ever find those other pictures she would hate...?
Self: If...(inaudible).. go down YOU go down!....(inaudible)...(crosstalk)...(screams)...
Me: Ok well...That does it for now...This is Christy signing off...
Self: Whatever!
Me: Tune in next week for the premeire episode of 'Life as a Bad Play'...

END TRANSCRIPT.

Sorry Yall. I don't have any tax payer money to pay a real journalist to do the legwork for me. Gotta go with the resources you have not the resources you might WANT to have....