My thoughts, on Memorial Day.
I have picked up a new hobby lately. It is one my curious mind has become obsessd with in a short period of time. It is a hobby that does indeed seem strange, but those that love me indulge me. I now spend lots of time online searching for pictures from Iraq.
The thing is, the pictures speak things no language has words for. Seeing it, and hearing it, are two truely different experiences.With every photo I learn something new about our soldiers, the habbits and lives of Iraqis, the resistance, history, and grief. So much grief. It keeps me awake at night.
It just ocurred to me today, that I seek knowledge that I do not want. Knowledge that is complex and frightening. I look at the pictures even though I feel many times that I can not. I never REALLY want to. And the whole time I am thinking, SOMEONE has to. They are hiding these images from us. Once you see them you cannot help but become sick in your very soul with grief.
As Bush speaks, as I am sure he will tommarrow, he will speak of lofty ideas like freedom, democracy, and terror. And I expect when he does I will do as I do every other time I hear him speak. I will see in my head the images of my young brave country men suffering catastrophic injury they had no armor to protect themselves against. I will see images in my head of them welding trash to thier vehicles trying to give themselves some measure of comfort anyway.
I do not want to know the things I know, but I know of no other way to conquor the fear by any measure. The more our government lies to me the more determined I am to SEE the truth. With my own eyes. As horrible as the pictures of the wounded are, it is the dead children that are simply unavoidable. Far MORE dead children than men. In seeing the actual moments of it caught on film, you can not help but ask yourself WHY they were sacrificed? But, that is EXACTLY why they are hiding them. The Culture of Life has apparently not been found in the cradle of civilization. I do not want to see thier mothers faces when I close my eyes, but I do.
If my neighbors and fellow patriots saw what American bombs did to entire families, homes, and cities, perhaps they would NOT be so eger to drop them. Because these pictures have been blacked out by the media, most Americans are under the impression OUR bombs ONLY kill terrorists, because they are SMART BOMBS.
If you saw what I have seen you would try to stop it, too. But many Amerians have turned away, I think because it disturbs thier sleep, as well. I long for such sleep. I wish there were a way to unlearn knowledge. Yet even as I wish it, I know I will still seek out the photos because I know very few others are, or can. I am trying to bear honest witness so I will not pass on the lies I have been told to my children. And in honesty, what I have seen has scarred me deeper than 5 c-sections.
As I write this, there are actions in motion that will soon bring about the release of the 'OTHER' Abu Ghraib photos. I truely do not think I can face it. But I must try, as long as I can, I only pray to God others are stronger than I am, because in the end I may turn away, too. I am not sure how much longer I can learn what I do not want to know.
I can only take so much horror.
The thing is, the pictures speak things no language has words for. Seeing it, and hearing it, are two truely different experiences.With every photo I learn something new about our soldiers, the habbits and lives of Iraqis, the resistance, history, and grief. So much grief. It keeps me awake at night.
It just ocurred to me today, that I seek knowledge that I do not want. Knowledge that is complex and frightening. I look at the pictures even though I feel many times that I can not. I never REALLY want to. And the whole time I am thinking, SOMEONE has to. They are hiding these images from us. Once you see them you cannot help but become sick in your very soul with grief.
As Bush speaks, as I am sure he will tommarrow, he will speak of lofty ideas like freedom, democracy, and terror. And I expect when he does I will do as I do every other time I hear him speak. I will see in my head the images of my young brave country men suffering catastrophic injury they had no armor to protect themselves against. I will see images in my head of them welding trash to thier vehicles trying to give themselves some measure of comfort anyway.
I do not want to know the things I know, but I know of no other way to conquor the fear by any measure. The more our government lies to me the more determined I am to SEE the truth. With my own eyes. As horrible as the pictures of the wounded are, it is the dead children that are simply unavoidable. Far MORE dead children than men. In seeing the actual moments of it caught on film, you can not help but ask yourself WHY they were sacrificed? But, that is EXACTLY why they are hiding them. The Culture of Life has apparently not been found in the cradle of civilization. I do not want to see thier mothers faces when I close my eyes, but I do.
If my neighbors and fellow patriots saw what American bombs did to entire families, homes, and cities, perhaps they would NOT be so eger to drop them. Because these pictures have been blacked out by the media, most Americans are under the impression OUR bombs ONLY kill terrorists, because they are SMART BOMBS.
If you saw what I have seen you would try to stop it, too. But many Amerians have turned away, I think because it disturbs thier sleep, as well. I long for such sleep. I wish there were a way to unlearn knowledge. Yet even as I wish it, I know I will still seek out the photos because I know very few others are, or can. I am trying to bear honest witness so I will not pass on the lies I have been told to my children. And in honesty, what I have seen has scarred me deeper than 5 c-sections.
As I write this, there are actions in motion that will soon bring about the release of the 'OTHER' Abu Ghraib photos. I truely do not think I can face it. But I must try, as long as I can, I only pray to God others are stronger than I am, because in the end I may turn away, too. I am not sure how much longer I can learn what I do not want to know.
I can only take so much horror.
posted by Christy at 12:59 AM
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