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Friday, November 18, 2005

Enduring Freedom II

Jeremy Pikser

As evidence continues to mount that the new democratic government of Iraq is torturing opponents in secret prisons, unnamed administration sources have cited evidence that the new Iraqi government is also stockpiling weapons of mass destruction, as well as developing a nuclear capability.

Citing “unimpeachable” intelligence sources inside Iraq, one source is reported to have said, “There can be little doubt that the government of Iraq now poses a real threat to not only its neighbors, but also to the American homeland.

Regime change now seems inevitable.”

Consensus appears to be building among certain sectors of the defense establishment that a second liberation of Iraq may be necessary, requiring a separate US invasion force to remove the new Iraqi threat. When asked if this could lead to logistical and strategic confusion, an unnamed Pentagon source replied, “No. The Enduring Freedom II forces would operate under an entirely separate command from Enduring Freedom I.”

The Pentagon is reportedly brushing aside fears that having two separate liberation operations in Iraq would spread US forces too thin. “We don’t expect that much resistance, frankly. People will be welcoming us as liberators, after all, throwing flowers.”

Democrats are expressing cautious support for these new plans. A spokesman for an unnamed high ranking Senate Democrat commented, “We are very alarmed to hear of this possible new threat. We are at least as committed to national security as the administration. In fact we are MORE committed to it. We’re the MOST committed to it. However, we need to view these new WMD reports very carefully. As the President himself has said, ‘Fool you once then shame on me, fool me again… well, we don’t want to get fooled.’”

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