"Next, Frist will be trying to tell us that these sweet little camps are designed for underprivileged children "

Frist Sells Soul

To The Devil

by Bart Whiteman
posted November 11, 2005
Link Here

On the way to work at his job on Capitol Hill, Sen. Bill Frist’s limo stopped at a traffic light, and the Devil opened the door and joined him on the back seat. Frist reportedly thought for a moment or two about asking the Devil to leave, but decided against it. He was intrigued. When you are trying to pilot a sinking ship through a mine-laden harbor, you will look just about anywhere for a life jacket.

By the time they reached the Hill, the Devil had Frist’s signature on a personal services contract. “Do a little easy work for me, Billy Boy, and you’ll see a return that will make that HCA stock you dumped at just the right time look like chicken feed in a cyclone.”

Without batting an eyelid, Frist got into the Senate chamber and announced that the leaking to the Washington Post of the fact that the CIA had set up secret world-wide torture camps was a far more serious “crime” than the establishment of those very same camps. “There you go, Devil. You owe me ten grand.”

Let’s try to weigh these two alleged “crimes” side by side and try to determine which on a scale of important things is the more serious. Leaks to Post? World revolts? No. Torture camps? World revolts? Yes. Hmmmm.

I guess Frist was just trying to let us know in his own subtle fashion that he had prior knowledge that these camps did in fact exist and he wasn’t going to tell us. But now he has to tell us. Darn.

I know Frist was just playing a little round of tit-for-tat. The Democrats get upset over the Valerie Plame leak, so the Republicans needed a leak they can be sore about, too. The Republicans spent months trying to find a leak of their own to moan and groan about, but it wasn’t until the Post spilled the beans about the torture camps that they finally had a leak in their lap for the taking.

Next, Frist will be trying to tell us that these sweet little camps are designed for underprivileged children to visit in the summer months and are perfectly benign. “Hey, Devil. How much if we get a few of these kids to those camps, and you could do your worst. That should be worth another ten grand. Better yet, we could sell these kids their own torture camp kits to take home for Christmas. $24.95 each.”

I have an idea. Since Frist is so unperturbed about the presence of these torture camps, and since he is retiring from his job in 2006, and since he has about as much chance of becoming president in 2008 as I do, let’s let him do a world tour for a couple of years and provide free medical care for all the victims of these camps. He could afford to do it. Money is no object to him. He sold the stock at the right time.

“Hey, Devil! I’ll do the tour for ten grand a day. And a 10% bonus for each misdiagnosis.”

I seem to recall another visit to the Earth’s surface by the Devil many years ago and another personal services contract with someone that resulted in the establishment of some “camps” outside the borders of the country the ends of which the camps were designed to serve. There was consternation then, too, when the presence of the camps were revealed. There were lots of denials, too. And some people are still denying that they ever existed.

Well, Frist hasn’t denied that they exist now. He’s just in a pout because someone leaked.

We don’t know where the camps are. We don’t know who’s in them. We don’t know what goes on in them. Thanks to Frist, though, we know that they exist and that their existence was “classified.”

Now that we have announced to the world that Majority Leader of the United States Senate endorses torture camps and does not care a fig about “what goes on inside them,” it will be interesting to see what form of judgment the people of the world pass on Mr. Frist. And on us.

Meanwhile, after figuring it was a day well spent, Bill rode home in his limo and rolled down the window for a little fresh air. “Hey, Devil! Are we off to a good start? I can’t wait for tomorrow. Can you give me some more good ideas? I’ve been thinking, but it’s hard to top unabated torture. I mean it’s been done before and all. Come on, Devil! Give me something good. How about tainted Avian flu shots? Devil? Devil?...Huh, Devil?”

Later that night at a fundraiser, Frist claimed that as far as he knew he was the only one in the government who knew about the torture camps and that actually his knowledge of them was based on rumor only and that he had not actually been to any of the torture camps and that he couldn't say for sure what kind of torture was going on there, if any. In fact, his recollection was that Tim Russert had told him about the existence of camps in the first place. Frist asked the media representatives present for a clarification of the definition of torture. None was forthcoming. He was going to say "The Devil made me do it," but he started to giggle before he could get it out. The rock band U-2 later announced that it would do a concert tour of these camps in the fall of 2008.

Bart Whiteman
Bartwhiteman@aol.com

--AHHHH..

Hahahahahaha hahahahaha .. haha

Amen.!!!--