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Sunday, July 30, 2006

Dope Test For President? Bush Tests Positive for Testosterone

The Moron needs to be tested every month, remember he is the decider. READ MORE: 9/11, Olympics, Homeland Security, George W. Bush

Long before he became U.S. president in 2000, doctors had tested George W. Bush for drugs--using the same laboratory testing and procedures employed by Tour de France officials.
This information was revealed to me by a report I received after filing a request with the Freedom of Information Act and by speaking to a rogue agent with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms who had worked in Austin when Bush was Texas governor.

Concerned about his past drug and alcohol use, Bush Sr., wife Laura, and family consigliere James Baker demanded that Dubya take this test before they consented to throw their considerable financial and moral support behind his nascent presidential campaign. They wanted to make sure that George was “racing clean,” the ATF agent told me. (He asked me not to reveal his name for fear of reprisal; he now works as a consultant for the Department of Homeland Security).

It was the agent’s responsibility to supervise the testing. “The family just wanted to be absolutely 100% certain that he wouldn’t test positive for cocaine or any other behavior-changing stimulants,” the agent told me. “He passed the test with flying colors.”

But doctors discovered an an amazing anomaly, the agent told me. “Bush showed that he had an extraordinary high level of testosterone. “It was really off the charts. If he was a professional cyclist or Olympic athlete and was tested, he would have failed--and have received a suspension or ban."

The agent continued, “Bush told us that he had been taken anti-aging hormone and testosterone (male sex hormone) treatments after he turned 40; it allowed him to run every day. He learned about the stuff when he was in charge of the Texas Rangers baseball team.

“But since Bush was running for president and not competing in the Tour de France or Olympics, the Bush inner circle felt that a bit more machismo in George's blood could be a good thing. They were still sensitive about the wimp factor which plagued his father when he was vice president and president."

I asked the agent if Bush took the treatment in pill form or by injection. ”Bush didn’t want to be some pill popper, so he got monthly injections. He’d always joke about ‘exposing his butt to the neo-con needle.’

The ATF agent told me that Bush himself has been receiving a higher dosage of testosterone ever since 9/11. “It’s not like he’s some juiced-up Barry Bonds hitting home runs. He’s fighting terrorists! He needs to be on top of his game--all the time.”

One side-effect of prolonged testosterone treatments is increased aggression. But this is “the war president" --as Bush once famously said.

I had one final question for the ATF agent. “Did Bush and Lance Armstrong ever discuss blood-doping during their bike rides together?”

“I can’t answer that,” he said. “It’s classified information.”

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