GI Special 4G3: Zombie Soldiers - July 3, 2006

Thomas F. Barton

The pentagon informed the press today of their latest program that will solve the military man power problem for good. They told reporters this morning that the first all undead infantry unit has already had great success in the combat zone."This platoon of walking dead was created using soldiers that have already been killed in Iraq using a sophisticated combination of scientific machines and voodoo magic." claimed the program designer and mad scientist Dr. Cheney.The Dark Necromancer Rumsfeld said that the zombies were nearly indestructible, can operate on no sleep and have few personal hygiene concerns. When pressed if they could be killed by removing their heads Rummy stated that it was "a classified voodoo secret."Cheney wanted to make it clear that suicide or death in combat would no longer be the easy way out of military service.

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