Will Moqtada al-Sadr save my Grandma?

Jesus' General

Dear Mr. Sadr, I hope you can help my grandmother with a problem she has. I've already contacted my congressman, Rob Bishop, my two senators, Orrin Hatch and Bob Bennett (neither of whom are homosexuals), and Our Leader, George Bush, Emperor of the United States, but they all refused to do anything to help her. So now I'm asking you, the most powerful man in the world--a leader so powerful you can command the United States military to abandon an operation to find a missing American soldier--for your assistance. Can I get you to order President Bush to give my grandmother the prescription drugs she needs to stay alive? You see, she just entered into the Medicare "donut hole," the period of time when the government no longer helps the elderly pay for their medication. She can't afford the drugs she needs unless she stops eating and moves into cardboard box down by the railroad tracks. I know President Bush would provide medication for her if you'd tell him to do it. Heck, if he'll abandon a soldier on your orders, he'll certainly do anything else you ask of him...

continua / continued