Holding on...

Layla Anwar, An Arab Woman Blues - Reflections in a sealed bottle...

I had a very poignant dream last night that left me shaking till this very hour, as I am writing this... (...) . An old woman received me. I was in turmoil. She hugged me. I said to her: " Iman has died and I have no one to tell." She held me for what seemed like a long time and I broke down in tears...I cried and cried and cried. She said: " I will tell you a secret that Saddam Hussein knew and I want you to do the same. Hold on to the Palm tree like he held on to them. Spirits, jins and protectors live in each single one of them. He knew that and held on. You hold on too." Then I saw myself literally hugging, holding a Palm tree. And as I held it I cried even more. They were tears like torrents in a valley. A valley of sorrow and grief. And I kept holding on tighter and tighter. When I woke up, I saw myself invisibly hugging something, soaked in tears and I cried some more. And I still cannot stop crying. I cried for all those gone and all those left behind. I cried for Iman, Nabil, Hassan, Omar, Khalid, Suhair, Kamel, Radhee, Raouf, Randa, Maysoon, Nadia, Salam, Zakaria, Sarkis, Ann, Madeleine, Nasser, Ali, Bakr, Alia, Othman, Fawziaa, Sameera, Badiaa, my mother, my self... I cried for my family, my relatives, my friends, those I know and those I do not know, my neighborhood, my town, my city, my country... And I am still crying holding on...Holding on to that Palm tree, a Palm tree in a valley of devastation, tears and sorrow...

continua / continued