"Kennedy's passing only increased the need for outrageous distractions"

Republicans Announce Plans to Honor Senator Kennedy
"So far," Mr. Gingrich explained, "we have distracted the American people with outrageous lies, stoked fringe paranoids into a violent rage to break up town meetings, and fomented a nationwide atmosphere of hysteria that makes every decent citizen wonder if the country has gone to Hell."
"We've completely stolen the conversation," Gingrich said. "So part of it is, we are so close to putting a stake through the heart of this thing, we cannot afford to stop."

The Republican Party announced today that it will honor the legacy of Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy by continuing its campaign to defeat any prospect of health care reform.
"Senator Kennedy was a great humanitarian," said Michael Steele, Chairman of the Republican National Committee, "who worked tirelessly to improve the lives of the least fortunate because he understood how easy offering such help can be. We, the Republican party, will honor his memory by continuing our scorched-earth campaign to ensure that not one single uninsured resident of our country ever receives access to health care."
Former Representative Newt Gingrich explained the thinking behind the Republican strategy.
"So far," Mr. Gingrich explained, "we have distracted the American people with outrageous lies, stoked fringe paranoids into a violent rage to break up town meetings, and fomented a nationwide atmosphere of hysteria that makes every decent citizen wonder if the country has gone to Hell."
"We've completely stolen the conversation," Gingrich said. "So part of it is, we are so close to putting a stake through the heart of this thing, we cannot afford to stop."
"But also," Gingrich continued, "now is the time to take our dissembling hypocrisy to the next level. You thought death panels, Obama-Hitler posters, and gun-wielding citizens at town meetings were brazen, and possibly insane? Wait until we honor Senator Kennedy by bludgeoning his most cherished legislative dream into oblivion."
Some Republican Senators, speaking off the record, said their party's strategy may be reprehensible, but they have no choice but to go along.
"It breaks my heart to stand mute as our party operatives honor Senator Kennedy by sabotaging health care reform," one Republican senator said, "but you should see the campaign donations I received from drug and insurances companies in the last cycle. Jesus, it was unbelievable."
Other Republican strategists explained that Kennedy's passing only increased the need for outrageous distractions, and that as far as outrageous distraction were concerned, this one would take the cake.
"We cannot afford to have the passing of America's foremost proponent of public health care create a somber moment in which the national conversation turns to the merits of reform," one strategist said. "That's a game-changer for us. It's the Hail Mary pass that beats us in the last second."
"That's why we're going to, again, manipu -- er, direct the conversation in the way we have to this point," he said. "In these situations, you go big. You go bold."
Republicans denied that their plan to honor the Massachusetts Senator by killing his greatest legislative dream was insensitive, irrational, hypocritical, or insane. LinkHere

McCain Evicts Angry Woman From Town Hall

PHOENIX — Sen. John McCain met with an angry crowd at a town-hall meeting about health care reform Wednesday, sometimes having to fight to talk and telling one woman who wouldn't stop yelling that she had to leave.
The Arizona senator hadn't yet opened up the meeting at McCain's central Phoenix church to questions when one audience member continuously yelled over him.
"You're going to have to stop or you're going to have to leave," McCain told the woman. When security guards approached to escort her out, he told her "Goodbye, see ya" to a round of applause.
After McCain opened it up to questioning, one man angrily pointed at him and asked the senator why he deserves a better health care plan than him.
"I'm trying to get it for you," McCain told him. "We'll do it for you. We'll make it affordable and available to you."
Other audience members in the crowd of 2,000 told McCain about their medical problems, such as HIV and multiple sclerosis.
McCain urged them he would fight for health care reform but reiterated his opposition to President Barack Obama's plan to create a government option to compete with private insurers, arguing that it would be the eventual end of private insurers in the U.S.
Obama and most Democrats say a government option would serve to balance the power of private insurers. But insurance companies see it as a step toward a government takeover, and many business groups agree.
When McCain was trying to answer questions from reporters after the town hall, one audience member yelled at him that he gets hundreds of thousands of dollars from insurance companies every year.
In a voice of feigned surprise, McCain said "Really? I didn't know that." LinkHere