Harry Shearer: The Fmr Gay Hooker…Had The Balls Upfront To Say He Was Timing His Allegations To Affect The Elections…

He's the Man, Mike Jones, imagine a gay taking down their friking empire, I call that POETIC JUSTICE dont you think?

BY THE WAY NICE BOD

Of all the people who sprang October surprises, I trust Mike Jones. The former gay hooker, unlike the Iraqi "court" and other late newsmakers, had the balls to say upfront that he was timing his allegations about Ted Haggard's sex life in the hope of affecting the election. Even before Haggard acknowledged the truth of the matter, Jones--who had lie-detector problems--passed the ultimate lie detector: he was telling an obvious truth: he wanted to sway the vote.
So this election must be important. I know what my rooting interest is: I want my hearings. It's been twenty years since Iran-Contra, and we are due. I want people raising their right hands and swearing to tell the truth, and then lying their asses off. I want gory details. I want the boring details.

The nation needs whatever hearings the Democrats may be able to muster a fraction of Mike Jones' balls to organize. Where else to get the felons from which Fox News can recruit its next generation of commentators?

Of course, times have changed, so not even the "news" channels will carry the hearings live. Instead, they'll make us pay for the online feeds.

And yet, I can't help being grateful to Ted Haggard. He gave us the best alibi of all time. In his original denial of the sex he later admitted, he did concede to having bought meth, then throwing it away. Think of the addict he saved from further degradation by buying their dose that day. Perhaps, as the hearings unfold and perjury is discovered, Administration miscreants will stand boldly on the Capitol steps and tell the cameras, "I didn't lie to the Committee, but I did buy some meth."

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